This past weekend, a friend told me a rather queer thing over the phone. She said she wanted to become like me! When I asked her why she wanted to change she said she didn't know. Maybe her perception is that there's something in me that's worth copying or imbibing.

It's the best compliment one can ever get, still I couldn't help but wonder where would it all lead to?

As individuals, we're all different; all of us. No one exhibits the same behaviour as anyone else. There are always some traits, analogous to DNA, which are different in all of the people; some quality or aberration that separates each one of us from everyone else. Maybe people are like incomplete circles, when we interact with others, we're looking for that missing part. Maybe when we interact with others, we're looking for overlaps of personality traits.

Someday, I feel, mathematics is all that's going to be needed to understand people. Ever since I read about Venn-diagrams in the 6th standard, I’ve felt that life is just like Venn-diagrams. Venn-diagrams of people, people whose personality traits overlap with many others, in the very same fashion.

Even if we wanted to mould, to change, to transform into someone else, the way he or she is today, there'd always be that difference. Even if I think I’d like to emulate my dad or his personality, I'd still be 34 years behind him. Every person evolves, life is like going beyond every horizon that's visible in the distance and there's always another horizon beyond the one that we can see.

So even if I try to be like someone else, I might as well be able to become like him, but in course of time he will have evolved into a finer individual, he would've also moved ahead. So if I try to just imitate him, I’d always be running…. the whole of my life.

This brings me to the question: Why not carve your own road, the one that leads you straight to your goals? Why not make your own milestones?

We all interact with one another maybe because we're all different in nature. What if everyone was the same? No one would've felt the need to familiarize himself with anyone else 'cause there would've been nothing to familiarize with, in the first place!
The intrigue, the wish, the drive to know about the other person is there only as long as he's different from us in some aspect. If he wasn't? You can guess the rest.

In the same breath, I’d like to add a word about stagnation: It sucks. Never think you've had enough. Set your goals; or rot.

If she ever reads this, I’ll just to add: You don't have to change, you're my friend and you're treasured. Follow your own destiny.


~ by anuj on April 22, 2006.

3 Responses to “Moulds”

  1. It’s true, we gotta be a specific individual in our lifes and not TRY to be like others. We must be cool in our own unique way, so that like in ur case, we shld be copied by someone else but then again it would be wrong on their part.
    Be Unique and this world can take you places
    Rest Assured!

  2. It took me many years to understand, that i should me by own mentor. i always tried to imitate best around me and always tried to be like him; and i always found myself lost heading nowhere. But then something happend; and i woke up from the slumber i had been into, i got this feeling that sohail you can do something and you don’t have to be like anybody. I had a goal now, something to strive for. which made me a better person. I laid my own rules without voilating proven laws. by that i mean that you don’t have to be like someone to achive something but you can always learn from other’s experiences and avoid making mistakes which they had made and still be a unique person you are.
    I have seen people cursing themselves and complaining about life they have, guess what? they all have one problem; They dont have GOAL. so make your goal and work on it and you would be best person which you always were. its just that you never looked deep inside you. I must stop now, i think i wrote tad bit lengthy of a comment.:p anyways! nice post anuj. Cheers.

  3. Ani, being unique and being “yourself” can mean two different things. When you be yourself, you might not end up feeling unique, but you’ll not be faking or lying about anything to yourself.

    Yes Sohail, maturity is something that comes with age. Sooner or later one does realize all of this. Late realization isn’t bad, never realizing is.

    As I once wrote on bat’s blog:
    growing mature is a sign of progression, it let’s you know that you’re moving ahead.

    in my opinion, there’s a limit to maturity though. beyond that, wisdom takes over.

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